Dentist Debacle

I’m sitting here in a dental waiting room, 5th time this week, and pondering the insanity that has been the process of taking care of teeth this summer. It all started with routine cleanings in which Gray came home saying he had an internal root resorption on one of his upper, toward the front, teeth and would need to have it removed. I began picturing him with a missing front tooth to go with his mullet and mustache and thinking we must fix this ASAP!  

Several days later Matt passed along that he had taken Julia to her teeth cleaning and they said she needed her wisdom teeth out. He texted me at work about it being $300ish and he thought that seemed expensive. I had a good laugh about that, as everyone’s wisdom teeth removal that I’ve ever heard of cost thousands of dollars.  (There may have been some jokes about Matt convincing the dentist to just take Julia out back with some pliers and get the job done. He has a reputation for encouraging toughness after all!)But turns out her teeth were all coming through already and they just needed to do simple extractions, so we were getting off cheap! We planned to do it mid-July.

Gray's situation was a bit tricky.  He had gone to the dentist on his own and so all our info was coming through him. Gray is still on a very big “I don’t need your help” kick, isn’t forthcoming about details in most situations, and doesn’t always register or remember everything that is said to him. So I was definitely feeling in the dark about this bizarre and unexpected malfunction of his body that I’d never heard of. He said they were consulting with his orthodontist. as he still had the attachments for his Invisalign  on his teeth (which he was supposed to be done with last year but hadn't exactly been on top of wearing). So I tried to be patient…but after a month had passed and I’d talked to a receptionist twice, who assured me the hygienist would call me and yet I still hadn’t heard a thing, I left a voicemail insisting someone call me asap and explain what’s going on. Gray and I went back to the dentist a few days later for a consultation in which they gave us options of getting a fake temporary tooth (flipper tooth, they call it) or a more permanent implant or just removing the tooth and (thankfully) cleared up that it was a molar, not at the front. We decided to go ahead and do the implant (there’s a procedure that’s thousands of dollars in our future after all!) and made an appointment for an impression for a flipper tooth (to cover the space till the implant process was complete in December) and an appointment to get the bad tooth out and something screwed in his bone that they will attach the implant to when he comes home for Christmas and it has had a chance to heal.  Whew. All settled! Except…

1) He goes in to get the impression and comes home with nothing done, because he still had the Invisalign attachments on and they must come off first, though no one told us that. So after a frantic message to our wonderful orthodontist saying we needed to just cut our losses and be done straightening Gray’s teeth(I was worried he wouldn’t be able to get in there and then the whole series of appointments would be messed up with him going back to school), they got him in and removed the attachments. My favorite part about this section of the story is when Gray put his Invisalign in about 20 minutes before his appointment, just to get a last minute boost of straightening even though he had barely worn it at all for a year.

2) The dentist got him back in for an impression again and that went fine, but when we came in the following Monday afternoon for the extraction, they couldn’t find him on the list and said his appointment was the next Monday morning.  We went back to the car and I tried to think what could have happened and assumed I had gotten confused, what with all the appointments we’d been having. Gray got in a few digs about my incompetence until he looked at the appointment reminder they had sent that said we did in fact have an appointment that afternoon. So back in we went and showed them the reminder.  The hygienist happened to be up front around then and caught wind of what was going on. She pointed out to Gray that she had told him at the impression appt that they needed more time for the “flipper” tooth to come in before they could do the extraction so they had made him an appointment for next Monday…remember, Gray? He sheepishly acknowledged that that was correct and we headed back home. 

3) Somewhere in these weeks he headed to the orthodontist to pick up his retainers and came home without them, as one didn’t fit. So he had to get another impression and return once again to pick those up  

4) Monday morning dawned and, once Gray emerged from the shower at 10:35, we rushed back to our 10:30 appointment for the extraction. We waited 15 minutes or so and the hygienist came out to say she was sorry that the flipper tooth was still not in and she could get us in Thursday instead. (For those counting at home, that’s 3 no-go teeth appointments for Gray now.)

5) Two days later was Julia’s big wisdom tooth appointment. We had all her requested soft foods, she had asked off work for the week, and visions of lounging and watching tv were dancing in her head. We waited a bit in the waiting room and she seemed more concerned that the UV wasn’t high enough to get the tan level she planned on achieving this week than about her teeth getting pulled. They called her back and I settled in with a book. A bit later, the same hygienist from Monday came back and called me to the room where Julia was. Turned out they did an overdue more in-depth xray to make sure what they were looking at and the dentist determined that she didn’t need her wisdom teeth removed for another year or two, if ever. Apparently the dentist who first saw Julia was a pediatric dentist who was just filling in and misdiagnosed the situation. She said Julia’s teeth were coming in sideways and there was not enough room in her mouth for them. Our regular dentist said the exact opposite. To add to it, the hygienist was panicked because Gray’s flipper tooth still wasn’t in and she furtively promised to call me if it didn’t come in. So I took a livid Julia home, who was so upset that she was all prepared for this procedure for nothing. 

6) But wait, there’s more! The next day (today) I took Gray for his extraction. While I was next door at the orthodontist with Allie, Gray came in and said all was done. His face was still very numb and he pulled out the flipper tooth and showed me how that worked. I went over afterward to pay and was told it was $71, when I expected a thousand or more. I knew something was wrong. The hygienist came out and said they only did the extraction, not the bone graft and anchor for the implant. I was so confused and there was a lot of back and forth in which they sort of put it on Gray for not knowing what was going on, though really I had confirmed the plan right after the consultation and someone at the office just didn’t record the plan. Thankfully they said they would go back to the original plan and get him in this afternoon. So here I sit with my heart in my chest, getting anxious every time the door opens to the back, thinking someone will be coming to tell me something else went wrong!! 

Moral of the story- if you ever need a reality check of how we are not in control and must hold our plans loosely, I’ve got the name of a great dentist for you.

All Good Things…

 …must come to an end, right? One more week of summer for me, which is so hard to believe. Even after 6 years at a “modified year round” school, I think I still expect summer to be a 3 month deal like traditional school. 6 weeks feels quite a bit quicker! I don’t feel ready to go back, but at the same time, after fitting in all the usual housekeeping and cooking and parenting with working full time the last few months of school, it seems ridiculous if I were to have another 6 weeks of sitting at home all day.  It's been a nice mix of fun and "taking care of business".  

First the business- it's been great to have plenty of time to exercise, read, clean, clean out, and get organized.  And then there have been many, many medical appointments.  In my last 3 weeks of summer, our family is up to 15 appointments, with possibly others added on.  Some things were just your run of the mill dental cleanings and regular checkups like dermatology.  But others have been unexpected, like Julia's wisdom teeth, which will come out next week, and Gray needing an implant to replace a tooth whose root has decayed for unknown reasons.  We're also finally trying to address Joshua's constant stuffy nose with an ENT and have had two cardiology checks for Allie, including her first stress test, which she passed with flying colors, though they were awfully nice to ask her if she wanted to keep going to a more intense level on the treadmill once she got a little sweaty and tired.  She said no thanks ;)

The boys have been working on building a fence on Barnette's property, plus Gray has continued his landscaping job here and there, Julia has done some babysitting and working at the Sportsplex, and Matt has started up building at the new house, where the basement is being poured this week.  

But there has been fun too.  

Allie went to her first sleep away camp, Willow Springs, which Julia had gone to years ago.  She knew no one there but was really brave about it and had a wonderful time.  She has written back and forth a little with one friend she made.  She said she definitely wants to go back.  

Meanwhile, Julia spent the week at the beach with her friend Grace and Nanny and Pa.  I think they talked the grandparents' ears off!  Julia felt that it wasn't nearly a long enough trip and had the best time.

The boys, Matt, and I picked up Allie from camp and headed to EI to pick up Julia and Grace and spend Father's Day weekend with Nanny and Pa.  We had a great time playing cards, going out to the beach, getting breakfast, and playing putt putt.  

We had a week at home and then headed back to the beach for our family's week at Emerald Isle.  The first day was just the 6 of us and we decided to try something new and rent kayaks.  The boys have gotten so into fishing and Joshua wanted to catch a particular kind of fish while Gray wanted to use the fishing pole he bought from his cousin Graham to catch a shark.  They caught neither at Shark Tooth Island, but the rest of us did find several shark teeth.  The girls were paddling a double kayak behind us on the way in and we heard a certain level of "conversation" that sounded like they were mad at each other, which Matt said let's ignore and we paddled on.  Turns out that Julia had seen a fin and thought it a shark (without her glasses) but a lady nearby and Allie confirmed it was a dolphin.  So it wasn't an amazing outing, but definitely fun to do something out of the ordinary and explore the Sound.  

The next day, Joshua returned and fished awhile on his own.  Then both boys tried their hand fishing on the beach at The Point and at Aunt Kathy's the next day.  I think the only things they caught the whole trip were some croaker fish, but they had fun on a family friend's boat and once the cousins and our friends settled in, they got busy with other activities and gave up the fishing.

We had a lot of coming and going at the beach on our week.  Lisa, Dennis, and Addie joined us Monday and we did beach stuff and tried jet skiing for the first time.  The boys shared one and had a great time.  We saw them fall off once, apparently due to Gray's doing donuts, and Joshua brought Gray back a little early because his contacts were bothering him so much.  Addie drove Allie on another jet ski.  She looked like a speed demon hunched over driving across the water.  Allie thought it so much fun.  Julia and Matt shared a jet ski and Julia took a little while to get the hang of it, but loved it so much.  Matt switched out with me and let me ride for a bit, which is about all I wanted of it!  It was fun, but I was happy to watch and afraid to drive.  

Jeannie and Mimi and GG arrived Wednesday afternoon and Hunter and the boys Wednesday night (after watching a World Cup game in Atlanta).  We spent a lot of time on the beach, talking, reading, playing in the waves, playing games on the beach, exercising, watching Wimbledon and the World Cup.  The adults had a fun night out to dinner and the kids (and Matt) had a putt putt outing.

Will arrived Friday after getting back from a mission trip in South Africa.  We did more of the same and the boys played a lot of beach soccer.  Dennis left and brought Ava back late Friday after she got back from a church trip.

The boys let me try to recreate this photo that hangs on the beach house walls.

Some things haven't changed!

Jeannie tying the game, much to Lisa's dismay

We were all together for Saturday July 4th and played some "family olympics" games, though didn't get to all of them.  We mixed everyone up this year and had 4 countries competing- England, US, Argentina (¡Vamos Argentina!- my team's battle cry), and Japan (Jeannie's pick, as it was the easiest flag to draw).  We did bucket ball, tidal ball, and a soccer ball kicking game Sawyer created.  It was a lot of fun.  Then we had a cookout back at the house and walked to a new place for ice cream, then to the beach to watch fireworks.  We ended the night with a late game of "Werewolf" and packed up the next day for home, which is always a little sad.

Our other fun was celebrating Allie's 11th birthday.  I reluctantly agreed to let her have a sleepover and she thankfully kept it to 3 friends, thinking correctly that only 4 of them could fit in her room.  They weren't too much trouble and spent most of the night talking and laughing, though we did find some messes the next day- forks with big chunks of cheesecake on the couch in the basement, toilet paper draped around the floor, etc. And at nearly 5am, I heard footsteps and had to go up and tell them to go to sleep.  Allie thought it was all a great time and also enjoyed her family dinner that next evening.  

It's been a good summer and in spite of all the extra grocery shopping and cooking, plus additional interpersonal conflicts that come when we are all 6 home, it's been great to be all together.  It's hard to believe that Joshua's already halfway through college and I know things will just keep changing quickly as the boys get through school and begin their careers and the girls work their way through the rest of their school.  I see families a little ahead of us who have kids moving away, getting married, etc. Trying to enjoy this time with the 6 of us while we can!  Now I must gear up for the busy days ahead as we start yet another new school year!!

Summertime, Summertime

I say this every year, but I can't believe it's actually summer break!  I always find the last few weeks of school so mind-blowing.  There is so much energy from the kids and every day is usually extra busy and unique, with celebrations, extra testing, projects, cleaning the classroom, plus all that is going on at home.  And then the last day, I just feel like I want to slow it all down and just sit and talk to the kids and hug them and take it all in.  I guess I've never been good at quickly processing changes.  But here we are!  

It's been an interesting year.  I've had a few kids whose personalities and challenges are unlike any I've had before.  We've never had so much crying, screaming, throwing, running in kindergarten.  Some days as many as 5 of them had had a big breakdown, sometimes all at once.  And then there was the fact that we had to move into a classroom without a full wall between us and the hallway and with no kid bathroom for our 5 year olds, some of which were scared of the big bathroom the entire year.  And I went full time the last quarter of school, which was an adjustment being with the kids a few extra hours a day and having less free time to do things at home.  And I was getting to know my brand new teacher, who is young enough to be my daughter.  She was awesome and in spite of everything, we managed to make it a good year.  The flood created a lot of stress for a lot of people and we had a lot of staff quit.  So it was kind of an odd end of year celebration yesterday afternoon.  But as I looked around the room, I found myself feeling thankful and at home.  Next year will be my 7th year at this school and though I get frustrated at times with the high demands put on our students at such a young age (can they just play and learn letters and read fun books?!), I do love my coworkers and it's been a great job that I enjoy.  

A coworker took this yesterday unbeknownst to me!

Allie got to go on her long-awaited 4H Camp class field trip for 3 days in April.  She was super excited and had the best time.

The last time I wrote, we were in the midst of lacrosse season.  One morning, before a game, we ran off to Dix Park in Raleigh to see the trolls, which was fun.

Then we went to the best game we saw all season, in which Joshua's team was losing in the playoffs to Greensboro College, who had beaten them a week before, when suddenly, the weather changed, a crazy storm blew rain all over us, and Joshua's team scored 4 goals in 2 minutes and ended up winning.  We were soaked but happy.  Joshua had an awesome assist and I was so glad for that, because a terrible fan (on our side!) had been loudly badmouthing him and other players during the game and I was LIVID.  Joshua's team didn't get much farther in the playoffs and Gray's team finished their season with more losses and no playoffs.  It wasn't the best season for either of the boys, but they both love their teammates and still seem to be happy with their choice to play in college.

I was sent this rare photo of Matt in his natural habitat (Ha!).  I haven't ever gotten to see his office.  He continues to work his 3 shifts a week at UNC, which wears him out on workdays, and this spring worked hard to get our building permit application turned in for our new house.  We are still waiting for approval, but have dug the foundation and a few other details on the land and hopefully can get started building any day now.  It definitely stresses me out to think of cleaning and readying the house to sell next year, packing it all up and getting settled again.  Part of me (a big part) is so ready to park ourselves somewhere for a nice long time again, but I know the house we are living in now is much bigger than we need, especially when the boys are in school, and building and moving will continue to be a financial boost, so I try not to dread it!  Matt hopes to have the boys help with a lot of the work, like framing, so hopefully it will be a great learning experience for all.

After telling her no for awhile, we finally decided to let Julia go to prom as a sophomore, with a friend from work who didn't have a date.  She was so excited to get dressed up and go dance and socialize and it turned out to be a fun night for her with no troubles or worries for us.  

Love this photo of Jeannie and Allie, who went to the Orange High play of The Great Gatsby this spring.

We spent Mother's Day after church at Stacy's house for lunch.  It was hot, but always nice to be with Matt's family and enjoy good food.

The boys are back in town.  And with that comes more barking from Rum, more activities and excitement, and much, much more grocery shopping and cooking.  It's good to be together again.  Joshua finished up school early this year- end of April- and just had to wait out his conference play offs, then packed up his truck and came home.  He didn't find a job this summer, but has had a lot of work from Barnette, who is starting a house in our culdesac, so that has been keeping him busy till we can start framing our house.  He also helped with picking up Allie and has wanted to have time to work out and practice lacrosse, which last summer's long hours and commute for his internship didn't allow much of.  

Gray finished school the beginning of May and since he still didn't have a car and since Matt had hurt his back, I won the honors of trekking up to Mars Hill to move him out.  I was dreading that day because we also had set up and clean up duty at church, which involves some heavy lifting and moving of things, which was a bit more work without Matt, and then I'd have to leave in the afternoon to drive up and get Gray and turn around and come home at hopefully a decent hour to get to bed and ready for my workweek the next day.  I urged Gray to be as ready as he possibly could and imagined he might even be downstairs with a few bags already when I got there.  That was not the case.  I climbed the few flights to his room and found that he had packed up some stuff, but there was also a floor full of unpacked stuff- trash, food, random things like gift bags- plus drawers full of clothes, bedding still all on the bed, etc.  But I made a choice to enjoy the day with him and not complain, so we got busy and got it all cleaned out, which packed out our 7 passenger vehicle to the gills somehow! (Maybe the excessive amounts of clothes and numerous packages of Pokemon cards he had accumulated??)  We headed home and truly I did enjoy our ride back.  Most of the year I'd hardly gotten a word from him.  He might reply to a text but might not.  He might call us if we said he had to and then would just mumble a few words and clearly not want to talk.  But this ride home we got to really talk about his year and his reflections and thoughts and I was very glad for the time with him.  He is now back at his landscaping job, but spent the first several weeks here helping Pa some with Joshua, but also figuring out the purchase of his new car.

Matt and I got away in May to his UNC employee dinner at the Dean Dome.  They had set up lots of food options, games, music, photo booth, etc, all around the concourse and it was nice to have a date and do something different.  It poured while we were inside and we hadn't expected it at all, so Matt got soaked running a couple blocks away to get the car for me. 

Our big trip in May was down to Florida to celebrate Jackson's high school graduation.  It was Memorial Day weekend and I was worried about the traffic and knew Matt couldn't come, but wanted the cousins to be together and decided to go for it anyway.  The ride down was 7 hours and no problem, but the ride back on Memorial Day was 9 1/2 in the pouring rain.  But I was still glad we went.  Julia, Allie, and I were still in school so we only got the weekend and I hardly saw Julia, as she went off with Abby and Carly (and sometimes Allie) most of the time.  They got nails done, smoothies, coffee, sunrise, sunbathing, etc.  And of course lots of talking.  They had a great time.  The boys played games and fished with the older boys and I got to visit with JJ, Matt, Amanda, and my parents.  The day of the party was a little tense, as the Leightons wrestled with where to have the party given the forecast of storms, but in the end, it was held on the beach as planned.  It was suuuper windy and things were trying fly everywhere, but I enjoyed meeting and chatting with some of the Leightons' friends there.  Allie and I stayed at Mama and Daddy's AirBnb, which was nice to get to see them a little more and explore the area a little bit.  When the girls and I left on Monday, the boys moved in to the AirBnb to stay the week with the grands.

They got to do a shark fishing trip with Uncle Matt and the 4 oldest boys did an overnight fishing trip alone at a campsite, where they slept little, tried to outrun a storm, didn't catch much of anything, but made some memories.  They came home a little burned and tired, but trying to immediately plan another trip down.

It's been so fun to have the Ferguson family (from our Kenya trip) stateside this summer.  We've gotten to do lunch or dinner with them a few times and play games and tell stories.  I love that we've been able to introduce them to our kids and just hang out and do things like play the "Name Game" that we like to play with our friends.

Matt and Allie did a color run fundraiser at her school, which Allie especially loved.  This was post-run but pre-war, which got them even more covered in color!

Before the boys got back, the girls and Matt and I decided to do something fun and do a rare movie night out.  We went and saw the Sheep Detectives, which we all liked a lot.

The last weeks of school held a lot of excitement for Allie.  She watched 4 Toy Story movies at school, plus others, passed her EOG tests, had 5th grade graduation (which mostly consisted of the usual sitting through many names called and then some songs in which the kids sang like they were bored out of their minds...welcome to pre-teenager-hood), a 5th grade party in the gym, and a 5th grade party at a local brewery.  She was super sad on the last day and said all the girls and teachers were crying.  She will go to a different middle school than many of her friends next year, but then likely return to the same school as them (and the one our kids have all gone to) for the rest of middle school once we move.  It hasn't really sunk in that we are all finished with having kids in elementary school.  Cameron Park/River Park has been a fixture in our lives since the boys started there in 2015, though after covid when it was renovated, allowed fewer visitors (plus I was working full time and couldn't go), and had a lot of the familiar teachers leave, it became lest sentimental to me.  It's been a good place for our kids to be and though I sometimes long for just a day with them as little ones again, watching them grow up and become more independent has its rewards.  

I've got about 6 weeks till school restarts.  Next year looks to be a class full of boys and needs and energy and I'm not ready for it right now.  Some of our classes are switching spaces to try to give teachers a break from the most challenging environments while we wait for renovations to be approved and begin.  And there will be many, many new faces of coworkers.  But for now, I'm going to try to not think about any of that and try to get into summer mode!  I want to enjoy every day and be present with the family- whoever is here- and rest.  Happy Summer!