The Ups and Downs of a Birthday Day

Yesterday was, of course, Good Friday, so the boys were out of school.  It was also Gray's birthday so we were all set for a fantastic day...first day of Spring Break, lots of play time, family coming over to celebrate.  It was going to be a great day.  Until it dawned early--about 4 am-- with Joshua's call from upstairs as he was throwing up.  Oh boy, the curse of the special occasion throw up continues.

So from his side, the day was less than fun.  He spent all day laying in the bathroom upstairs feeling alternately okay and then pretty bad again.  He has had these episodes so frequently but we still aren't positive if they are viruses or food-related.  He had a pizza party at school on Thursday, so we gambled that it was the culprit and the family came over anyway, but he felt too bad to get up and join in the fun and wasn't able to eat all day.  (Good news is he's back to normal this morning and I can tell he is just so happy to be feeling good again!  I definitely know how he feels!)

Julia had woken up when Joshua did at 4 am and was happily chatting away with me.  But when it was time to get up for real, I could tell it was going to be a long day.  She cried about everything and once sat up in her room for a good 15 or 20 minute stretch doing nothing but crying/screaming because she was mad about something.  She was much more pleasant after nap and had such a good time playing with her girl cousins into the wee hours of the night...well, 9pm, but that's late for her!!

And then there was Gray.  Sometimes I don't get this child and usually looking back, I realize again that I see myself in him!  He spent most of his birthday complaining.  Really, every single thing I did was not up to par for him.  It was sooo discouraging.  From his special pancake breakfast to his presents to his cake, he fussed and grumped over and over.  I tried to talk to him.  I definitely wondered in my head if we have spoiled him and maybe we should just stop doing special things and trying to live the American way.  Maybe he's not grateful because we just have way too much and there's no room in his heart for God to speak to him. Millions of children live without a single toy or trip to a restaurant...why is it we feel like we're depriving our kids if we don't give them those things?

Anyway, there were a few highlights of the day.  Nanny came over to give him his gifts and he was very thankful and excited (of course he tossed our gifts--game and stickers--on the floor after that and didn't even acknowledge he had opened them) and he very much enjoyed everyone coming over.  He had an epic battle with Jackson and he went around and gave everyone a piece of his candy from Nanny until he only had one piece left for himself.  Where was that sweetness with his Mama?

Popular bday gift from Nanny and Pa

But the morning after, I see how much I am like that.  I struggle to be sweet and serve my family many days but turn on that smile as soon as I encounter someone outside the family.  and gifts?  Well the things God gives me that sound like just what I asked for I am so grateful and excited about, but those things he gives me that don't answer my prayers the way I wanted, I definitely throw them aside and complain.  SO MANY lessons to be learned in parenting!!

All in all, everyone went to bed happy.  Well, actually Julia threw another fit, but then once Matt calmed her down I think she was happy.  And Joshua was starting to feel better.  And we were tired, but thankful.  And Gray?  Our last conversation went like this:

Gray- Mommy, I don't feel good because I have a boo boo on my foot.
Me- Yeah, you and Jackson were playing really rough!
Gray- (look of utter distress changes to bright smile) Yeah, we were!

Think he went to sleep dreaming of fighting and swords and knights.

Side note- one other "fun" thing happened yesterday.  I was talking with Gray as he was laying back in a chair and realized there was something blue in his nose.  I had noticed he sounded stuffy all morning and figured out the reason--he had put a bead up there and just left it.  And yes, I do realize he is following in both his mother and father's footsteps!

 Gray's "everyone is singing to me and I don't know what to do" face

Too excited!  His hands are a blur:)

No idea what the gift is Matt's holding, but he liked it.

Birthday Boys!

Somebody's 34

We celebrated Matt yesterday mostly by the means that he loves best-- food!  I made him some egg and bacon muffins that he ate before going off to work, Julia and I went to Chick-fil-a with him for lunch, Cindy brought him a treat in the afternoon, and we ended the day with a meal of his choice-- bacon wrapped filets, baked potatoes, salad, and peanut butter pie. He insisted on no gifts, but we did give him a movie- The Hobbit- and the kids made him coupons for foot rubs, back massages, and big hugs.

Julia showing everyone how her baby has not yet come out of her belly.

A Visit from Mimi and GrandGene

We planned a somewhat spontaneous visit from my parents last weekend.  It was kind of cold and rainy some of the time and we had no plans, so I wondered if it would be fun, but think everyone enjoyed just relaxing!

Gray got to receive a few early birthday presents from Mimi and GrandGene and also his basketball goal from me and Matt.  Mama brought her face paints and ended up spending a lot of time perfecting and re-perfecting the designs the kids picked for their faces and arms.  We watched some basketball, hung out a little with Matt's parents, and that was about it.

The night they left I heard lots of "When can we go to Mimi and GrandGene's house?" and "When Mimi and GranGene are all finished going to work can they come back here?"  Thanks for the visit, Mama and Daddy!

Pondering Education and Giftedness

I've been thinking a lot about education lately.  I guess the whole Voyager v. Hillandale thing has a lot to do with it.  (side note- we are #1 for 2nd grade Voyager waitlist, so still may get in and need to make the decision, but for now just chugging along and waiting)

I've read a little about education in Matt's sociology book, been influenced a lot by a blog on the individual talents of every child, watched a documentary on teachers with Matt, started a book on learning styles and strong willed children, and had a lot of conversations with friends and family.

And then there have been the struggles with Gray's behavior at school and the questions about what is Gray being Gray and what is stuff that needs to be corrected.  And Joshua's perpetual teacher assessments that he is not meeting his potential have had me scratching my head.

Lots to the think about!

Then yesterday Gray's teacher told me he was her 2nd top reader in the class, despite being one of the youngest students and today I met with an AIG teacher to discuss Joshua officially qualifying for services based on his hit-it-out-of-the-park diagnostic test scores.

And part of me wants to revel in this...my boys are smart.  But then the part that's a little more informed and a little less arrogant is looking at it a little differently.

So Gray can read well and Joshua is a good test taker.  Great.  They were made like that and they'll probably get good grades in school.  This used to mean so much to me.  I think because growing up I was absolutely set on doing well so I could get a scholarship to college. And that worked out and college was a great experience in many ways, but I never even used my degree whatsoever!

So it is really hard for me to curb my thinking that getting good grades in school is everything, but I think what God is teaching me through all this is that yes, we should be thankful for how Joshua and Gray were made and we should encourage them to use their gifts to the best of their ability, but they are really God's gifts.  He gave them and he could take them away at any moment.

And the gift of being good at school work doesn't make them one bit more valuable than a child that struggles in school but sings well or has a great imagination.  Taking it even further, many of the gifts that are seen as problems in school age kids (think of kids that are really personable but can't shut up!) are exactly what companies are looking for when you're out in the real world.

There was another part of Joshua's AIG evaluation that had his teacher rate him on motivation, learning ability, creativity, and leadership.  These are really probably more valuable than test-taking ability and Joshua did not score well in the first three.  In fact, his AIG teacher told us she was shocked at his test scores.  She had no idea he would do that well because he doesn't show her he knows anything in class.

But before I belittle Joshua for not being outgoing and energetic about school, again it's how he was made.  He is reserved.  He doesn't want to stand out.  He is not gifted in charisma.  And that's okay too.

So I am rambling, but I think what I want to train myself to do is to see each child's strengths, whether they are my kids or someone else's, and encourage them like crazy to shine the way they were made.  I want to see each one as equally valuable and not feel prideful about my children's gifts or ashamed of their weaknesses.  I really want to treasure each one.

And for my kids, I want to teach them that no matter what gifts you have, the things that will take them the farthest in life are the strength of their faith and character and the love they show God and others.  Without those qualities, nothing else really matters.

Going Green

Well we're not huge St Patrick's Day celebrators over here, but we did manage to get to church all in green and watch a Veggietales explanation of St Patrick at breakfast.  We also got some family pictures before church, which is always a feat in itself!

Lately

I don't have many pictures from February, but here's what I've got:

This is how we spent much of the month.  Julia and I, and sometimes one of the boys, sitting on the bleachers cheering on our team.  Overall, I really enjoyed basketball season.  There's something so funny about watching these little guys play a game you usually see very serious big guys playing.  It was hilarious to me how stoic the refs would be instructing kindergarteners.  One in particular was endearing to me because he would call Gray by name and seemed to try to give him more of a chance to do things like throw the ball in when his coach was a little more reluctant to let him have a part.

 This was at the championship game, which Joshua played in and lost to what I think was an undefeated team.  But these boys had fun together and I enjoyed cheering them on.

 This was the first round of the tournament and the last of the brother/cousin face offs.  Always fun to watch them all at the same time.  I do have a few clips I will try again to post, though the files are huge.

 And here's Miss Princess showing her stuff.  Actually I think she just has to pee because she proceeded to do so on the floor in the middle of this photo shoot.  Lately she's loving learning her letters and the sounds they make.  She still claiming the princess title.  She's cracking us up with the things she says.  She was digging in her pocketbook the other day and pulled out a bead, which she told me was a "relationship".  I'm sure there's some deep psychological meaning in that scenario of finding a relationship in a purse:)

Had to include this of Joshua and Julia, who were having a little too much fun putting away Julia's clothes together.

The big news with the boys is that the lottery for Gray's school is coming up in a few days and we'll have to decide soon after which school they'll both attend next year.  I think we are still undecided at this point so hopefully we'll have a wave of wisdom come through here soon!  Gray seems to be doing better at school lately.  At least I haven't heard from his teacher and hopefully when he says his day was "really good", he is giving me an accurate picture.

I got to spend some time in Joshua's class today, mostly helping the kids write about what they'd do if they had ruby slippers.  Their teacher just finished reading them The Wizard of Oz and they'll be taking a field trip to see it as a play soon.  I really enjoy being in his class and helping the kids.  They are such a diverse group and boy do they need assistance!  I definitely found myself thinking what a difference it would make to have much smaller class sizes and/or more teachers.

That's all for now.  Things are slowing down a bit with no more basketball and no plans to do soccer this year so I'm looking forward to more time to be at home and to enjoy the spring.  I can't wait to see what flowers are going to come up this year!  Have a great weekend!

Take a look, it's in a book

Sorry for the lack of posts.  Where I have been?  Another world away, actually.

My reading comes and goes in spurts and I have been on a serious one lately.  A few weeks ago I started reading "Global Soccer Mom:  Changing the World is Easier Than You Think" and I was definitely inspired.  It's the story of one mom who just took little step by little step toward concern and compassion for the oppressed and found herself helping make global policy halfway around the world a short time later.  It's full of awesome quotes and scripture and it's a pretty quick read.

In this book, she refers readers wanting to "do something" to these new groups called "Women of Vision", which are a subset of World Vision.  They are groups of ladies just like me who so want to serve oppressed people worldwide and feel lost about what to do.  Together, the women of these groups can do more than sit at home wondering.  Of course I was totally intrigued, considering where God has been leading me.

A few years ago, beginning with Jeannie showing me the Kisses From Katie blog, I began to feel the call to do more for hurting people.  Whereas before then, my sensitive heart could hardly bear to hear about the suffering, God began to put in me a desire to help that superseded those feelings.  I began to read a little more, to learn a little more, to handle a little more, and to feel more bonded to Jesus and his call.

I read several Melissa Fay Greene books and one from the Compassion International director called Just a Minute.  These stories opened my eyes to many different countries with many sad stories, but some hope too.

Somewhere in that process was when KNO was started and that definitely felt and feels very right and good as God has led us the whole way.  But still.  There is so much suffering around the globe.

So that brings us to now as my friends and I are researching what it would take to start our own Women of Vision group in the triangle.  And I'm getting deeper into these serious issues, which is very hard, but not as hard for me to hear as it is for those going through it.  And there is hope.  The stories of change in the midst of horrific circumstances are so powerful and inspiring.

Matt and I watch almost all of a documentary called Half the Sky which, like many of the books I've read, takes you on a trip to various places around the world to show you the horrors, but also the heroes who are changing things.  It's amazing.

And I'm finishing up a book with a similar subject called All That is Bitter and Sweet by the actress Ashley Judd.  It also chronicles a lot of her childhood and struggles with depression, but she is an ambassador for a group that fights disease all over the world and she's spoken with many world leaders and had many adventures.  It's fascinating.

So I don't know what's next.  I have to be careful not to neglect the responsibilities I've been given in taking on new ones, so I'm proceeding with caution and waiting for God to show me what to do.  But I'm excited about the possibility of bonding with tons of other women in our area who are like minded and doing something valuable together.  We'll see where God leads and how he provides!

I'll give a more interesting update on everyone else when I get a chance.  Have a great Wednesday!