What it is about our family

Been doing a lot of reflecting lately with the passing of my grandmother. The stories told about her before, during, and after the funeral were so special and definitely got me searching my memory for more of what it was like to be at Grandmama's over the years. Walking through her house filled with so many family members, but not her, was so surreal. You keep catching yourself thinking, "Now where is Grandmama?"....Oh. Right. I just wanted to here her voice going "Woo-ooh, in here!" when I called for her. And then as we visited two of her remaining sisters, I did hear her voice in theirs.  They were devastated at the funeral, but at the end of the day, dressed in their nightgowns and ready for sleep by the time we stopped by with some roses from Grandmama's grave, they were just like Grandmama- joking and laughing loud.  That got me thinking too.

Grandmama was fancy and proper in some ways, like her bright suits and super high heels and sparkly clip-on earrings as she dressed to teach Sunday School and sing in the choir. But she was not so dignified that she wouldn't be full of stories right after that service, cackling with laughter and saying whatever came to mind, inappropriate or not. 😂  Our family gatherings at her house were like that--full of old stories, lots of laughing, perhaps someone breaking out into song and dance, like my mom and Aunt Cheryl singing "Sisters" from White Christmas, or one of my uncles retelling an anecdote complete with impersonations that would have us rolling. And as my cousin Constance beautifully wrote for the funeral, that part of Grandmama- the warm, let your hair down and just be your crazy self sentiment- has spread to all of us and will keep living on.

When we all get together, you just never know what someone may come up with... When there were just 5 grandchildren, we all went to the beach and the oldest, Abby, wanted to reinact a fairytale. This is the kind of thing we are all over in my family...and those that aren't so keen on this kind of fun (ahem, Daddy), learn to not protest when we drag them in anyway. We brought costumes and everything and much drama ensued.  A few pictures and clips (love seeing Grandmama here)...

A little way down the road and it was Halloween. We were headed out to the country to a fall festival near Grandmama's house. Someone suggested we liven things up by ALL of us dressing up for it. No costumes? No problem. We raided my mom's pile of dress up clothes and headed off. Yes, we dragged my dad into that one too. And I was the very pregnant fairytale princess.

Another year we were gathering for Thanksgiving and decided to do a race at Grandmama's. Our own Turkey Trot complete with medals and of course, some of us (adults) wore costumes.  So much fun and something my kids still talk about.

One Christmas morning at Mama's we put on a play of the story of Jesus' birth. We made costumes out of whatever we could find and just had the best time with all our "skilled" acting.

During the summer of 2011, we had my cousin and her husband in from London, the host city of the Olympics that year, so we made up a family Olympics, minute to win in style competition.

This is what I love about going home to my family. I feel most free to be myself and be silly and just listen to stories and laugh loudly. At my house I get too wrapped up in the mothering of kids and keeping of house, but here, I can let my hair down, just the way Grandmama always did.

What a tough weekend it was, saying goodbye to Grandmama.  We gathered at her house for lunch, all of us trying to hold it together in our own way, particularly the girl great-grandchildren, who were taking it really hard.  Before the service, a huge storm blew in and we had a moment of comic relief as many of the kids, Matt, and I were loaded into a lift to cross to another area of the church, while the wind blew in the pouring rain over our way.  The kids thought it quite an adventure!  The service was very meaningful, particularly the stories that were told about Grandmama and the beautiful eulogy that my cousin in London wrote and had her mom read.  And then there were many people to greet, more tears to cry, and hugs to give until finally it was over and we were able to go back to Grandmama's for the evening.

That night, Matt kindly took our kids back home so that I could stay with my parents and sisters for the rest of the weekend.  It was so good to have time with family to talk, to remember Grandmama, and to just hang out together.  Oh yes, and of course, to laugh.  Grandmama wouldn't want it any other way.  :)

Sad week

We got back from our big trip on Sunday, a bit tired and a little subdued as we reflected on our time in NY, missed our friends, and thought about the first day of school.  Monday went great getting the kids off to school and they all seemed to enjoy the first day, especially Joshua, who thinks it's pretty awesome that in middle school he gets to see all his friends--not just the few in his main class like elementary years.

And then I awoke Tuesday morning to the sad news that my grandmother had died.  She had suffered from Alzheimer's for many years and from cancer, which had very recently been discovered.  She wasn't herself most of the time anymore, though we had a sweet last visit with her a week or so ago, where she held each of the kids' hands and asked them questions and told them how beautiful they were.  I was able to hear her say back that she loved me, even if she may not have been quite sure which grandchild I was.

She's been constantly on my mind as I think about the lady who is wrapped up in many of my childhood memories, who shared my birthday, who loved laughing loudly and babies and flowers and pretty clothes and ice cream.  I keep hearing her say "Hey praycious" (precious) in her southern accent and thinking of all her biscuits & macaroni I've eaten over the years.  And how she'd always open a can of peaches for me because she knew I was the strange child who wouldn't eat vegetables.  I spent many days rummaging through her huge closet of dresses and shoes and playing with her earrings.  I remember how she'd always happily model new clothes for us on her birthday and how you could always find her in the kitchen with a spoon, getting just a few more bites of this and that straight from the dishes after a meal.  I'm sure many more memories will come to me over the next days and especially this weekend as we gather for her funeral.  I look forward to celebrating Grandmama's life and hearing how everyone else remembers her too.

Today I started looking for pictures of her.  With us being birthday buddies, there is no shortage of photos of the 2 of us and I am struck by how radiant she is in each one.

 Birthday Buddies

So many celebrations and meals at her table.

 Loving those grands and great-grands..

And I have to include this silly picture of Granddaddy I ran across...the two of them together were something else.  

Beautiful lady with a big personality. Loved her dearly and will miss her so much.

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Going out with a bang:)

We finished the summer with our trip to NY and got back tonight--just in time for first day of school tomorrow!

It took us 13 hours to get up there, but it really wasn't a bad drive.  Lots of pretty scenery, kids were mostly good, and I listened to a book on tape that kept me awake.  We were so happy to see the Sethupathys and though I had started to wonder if I was crazy for planning this trip so close to school and work starting, we all had a wonderful time and were very glad we did it.

There was apple picking on their property and apple/peach picking at a farm.  There was waterfall viewing and waterfall swimming.  There was game playing and game making (homemade Stratego).  There was a dad night out and mom night out.  There was park playing and campus visiting.  There was a reggae concert and a bell tower concert.  There was lots of talking and lots of laughing.  There was ice cream eating...and more ice cream eating.  :)  The weather was beautiful like fall and they have such a pretty new place to live.  The kids got along great and Allie was easy and happy.

We made it home in about 10 hours and despite no electronics due to battery charge issues, it was a pretty quiet, pleasant ride home.  Now off to bed to rest up for our big day tomorrow!

She's Growing Up

I was just in the kitchen cooking when Allie, who had been eating a snack in the other room, walked in without a word, got a washcloth from a drawer in the kitchen, and began cleaning her hands.  I asked her if her hands were dirty.  "Mmm hmm", she said, and went back to her business.  Man is she growing up.  I remember not that long ago when I pretty much held her all day.  Not such a little baby anymore!  At least not on the inside...on the outside, she's still pretty tiny.  We had a checkup this week and she's not gaining much weight...2 pounds since Christmas.  But she is happy and healthy so we'll take it.  We avoided having to get vaccinations this visit but did have a finger prick.  However the only big cry from Allie was getting measured.  :)  Our doctor said we actually don't need to come back till her 3 year check up (!!) till she saw we need a vaccination next month, so never mind!  I think we have seen her 4 or 5 times since March!!  We still have a cardiology check in a couple weeks as well and some dreaded blood drawing for genetic testing whenever we can work up the courage to go over to the hospital.  So many doctors, but it's getting easier.  When Joshua was a baby, I'd be nervous and sweating for each appointment.  Now it's much more commonplace and I even took all the kids to the last appointment and didn't break a sweat.

Allie's happy as ever and talking up a storm.  This week she started shouting "Wat?!" in a cranky voice if someone called her name.  She also loves to tell her siblings, "Ssh! Daddy night-night sleep!" if she doesn't like what they are saying.  She's up to 4 word sentences such as "Julia fall down cry" or "Ja Ja help you stairs" or "Morning Julia eat bowl."  She's also parroting everything, identifying tons of stuff in books, and loving going up and down the stairs with help.  She's got hilarious dance moves and loves Raven.  We can't get enough of her!

This past week was pretty uneventful but Matt was working and on a trip the whole time, so the kids and I had to get creative with spending our time.  We went to the Museum of Life and Science two days in a row!  Thankful to have the Mussers in the same boat, particularly with a toddler-like situation going on in their new son.  We both can get a little stir crazy with no plans but also can't do anything too crazy with our newest children.  So playdates and sleepovers and museum trips and the library kept us going this week and overall, it was pretty pleasant.

One of the best mornings was when I had assigned the kids to each play a game of each of their siblings' choice.  They had a great time, were busy, and didn't really argue.  We will definitely be doing that more often!  Speaking of their "assignments", my list has been a smashing success this summer.  Every summer for years, I have made a list of what the kids have to do before getting their little bit of screen time for the day.  The more I read, the more entrenched I am in the belief that we all need to get off our screens!  Matt just came across a study the other day that links unhappiness of teenagers, among other negative things, to time spent on their screens.  So anyway, we don't let the kids have free reign and make them work for it.  This year instead of putting specific things on the list like exercise or reading, I make a custom one for each kid every day.  The first half of the summer there was a lot of cleaning out type jobs, but we did so much of that we ran out!  I also have put bathroom cleaning, dishes, bathing Raven (yes!!! Joshua can do that now...whereas before she just didn't get a bath because I couldn't manage her and Allie since Raven hates the bath and is kind of a lot of trouble with it), playing a "thinking" game, reading their Bibles, reading a "quality" book (for those that prefer something about poop, sports fluff, or superheroes), practicing lacrosse, reading to Allie, washing sheets, checking Nanny's mail, cooking dinner, pulling weeds, writing to our sponsored kids, practicing cursive, etc. etc.  The big three can do just about anything around the house, so it's been hugely helpful to just look around each morning and split up whatever needs to be done between the three of them...and me too of course.  I highly recommend it!  They don't fuss at all about their jobs either.  They know they'll get "paid" in the end with their precious screen time.

We have one more week of not much of anything.  Highlights- Joshua spends a day at the Middle School for orientation and Matt and I have our anniversary date...first date since China!!!

Then the following week we have a couple days at home, off to New York, and come back to school starting.  We just got the first call from school.  I have a special "classic telephone ring" ringtone on my phone for the school and it felt so weird to hear it again.  I can hardly believe summer's over and don't really want to.  As much as the noise of the kids all at home all day can drive me crazy...especially when trying to keep them quiet for Matt to sleep...I really enjoy summer.