Catching up

My lack of posting is definitely indicative of my full schedule since I started the job!  Things have been good but I constantly feel behind!  Today I feel like I can breathe a little because the kids are off school and I am off work on Monday.  So I was thinking over our night last night and wanted to record some of the conversation.

Joshua is still in Seattle and the rest of us were out to eat.  On the way, we saw a restaurant with the Duke logo outside of it.  Julia said, "I thought that was a Duke cafe.  Or buffet."  She was a total chatterbox all night and kept us laughing.  We talked about what you would bring with you on a one-year trip if you could only take 3 things.  Gray debated about the xbox and then decided on a football, basketball, and basketball goal.  Julia said right away, "Food, a lamp because that would be nice to give you some light, and a clock because it plays you music and helps you fall asleep.  Well, maybe a toothbrush instead, because that is better."  Funny how different they are!

This led to talk about cell phones (Matt's choice) and Gray says in exasperation, "When I am going to get a phone?!?!" and Julia says in an equally dramatic tone, "When am I going to get braces?!"  On the way home, she made lots of comments about the songs on the radio, such as how when boys sing a song about sweetheart, it's like when you grow up and get married and love someone and she thinks they are singing to girls.  Of course it all sounds funnier in her unique way of putting things.

I had parent-teacher conferences for all the kids the last few days.  Julia's teacher confirmed that yes Julia was correct when she told me she was "varely" listening the first weeks of school.  She said she was totally in her own world and they couldn't snap her out of it easily.  But that was probably her being overwhelmed with the transition of quiet days with me to loud, long days in the classroom.  Now she's doing well, though she is a talker, but not a "loud talker, just a sneaky talker".  She's doing very well academically and she enjoys it, so overall great report.  She is loving her dance class and it was so fun watching on parent observation day Monday.  I kept thinking "One of these is not like the other" when she would be a bit off the rest of the group and she did some lovely eye rolling and groans when she got tired of doing arabesques!  But she was so enthusiastic in her marching along to the tap dance and we just got a big kick out of the whole thing.

Joshua's teacher just loves him.  She said there isn't even one little thing she could tell me he needs to improve on as far as organization, following directions, behavior.  And he's above average on the academics as well. She said he's well liked and one friend in particular asks every day when he's going to get back from Seattle!  He seems to be having a great trip.  We gets texts of pictures and movies and "I miss you".  Feels like forever since I've seen him!!  He's done really well with his swim classes and has a really pretty stroke.  We're debating about switching over to swim team, which is pretty time consuming, but could be really good for him.  He has his next x-ray Tuesday so we'll see how things are progressing with his leg.  He and I had a fun trip away to the mountains last month on the 4th grade field trip.  He was a little down with chest pains from asthma, but recovered enough to have a good time and the scenery was beautiful.

Gray's teacher said he's so bright and such a neat kid with lots of interesting things to say.  He's above average academically, despite his attention issues, so she says she really can't complain.  His score of 192 words per minute reading was by far the highest she's ever seen.  He's still doing some ridiculous things like stuffing his face to the almost choking point at lunch, but it's better than that rainy week when he ate part of a glue stick and smeared peanut butter on his face.  I think part of that was due to not getting outside enough.  She said they were all going crazy.  His biggest struggle is writing, but he's showing some signs of wanting to try harder with that and making good progress when he does try.  I'm so happy we got this teacher who genuinely likes having Gray in her class!  He was so happy to finish the big mile run with a 7:21 time a few weeks ago.  It's such a big deal at school and he was pretty concerned.

My class is going great!  I love my little group of 6 and we have a lot of fun reading and talking together, doing discovery and experiment activities, playing outside.  They are so cute, well-behaved, and eager to learn.  It's a great job.

Matt is surviving his challenging job.  He's tired a lot but likes that he's always learning and feels like he's using his brain well.  And of course he's happy to have the job security.

Raven's doing well for the most part.  I think she doesn't like those days we are gone a lot and she's confined to her crate.  But left unsupervised, she does things like poop upstairs and get into the trash, so that's just the way it has to be.  She is well-loved and the kids often argue over who will feed her or take her out of her crate or give her treats.

I want to slow down time and enjoy each of our days well, but still working on how to make that happen! :)  There's always something to clean or wash, something to straighten or water, behavior stuff to talk through, homework to do, books to read, activities or parties to go to, meals to make, grocery story trips to go on, walks to take.  Just normal busy family life.  Things are good, but I do miss those slower summer days.  It may be summer before I get around to writing again....

First Day of School- K, 3rd, and 4th

Today went well. Kids were really happy yesterday and mostly excited this morning. We got to school early and Julia was the first one in my class. She gave me a hug and walked right in. She and Gray both insisted they didn't need me to walk them in and they knew where their classes were, though it's quite a ways from the front door and they had only been to the school once or twice. I insisted I was coming anyway!  I wrangled a hug from Gray and Joshua right outside their class and then just like that I was all alone. I didn't cry but I sure did feel strange. I kept looking behind me thinking someone should be following me!  I set off to to the clearance form for volunteers and saw so many of my sweet KNO kids full of happy greetings and hugs on the way, as well as lots of my grown up friends from our neighborhood. It felt very good to be there!


The kids rode the bus home, which is less than a five minute ride for them and went fine. The boys wanted to sit with friends but were assigned to each other and Julia sat right in front of them beside two little girls and across from my friend Robyn's twins. They were all smiles and happy chatter off the bus. Gray liked that he can earn tickets in his class and had a marshmallow tower building contest today. Joshua liked getting to know a kid he had met last year at s birthday party and that Friday there are special team games in his class. Julia liked playing on the playground with a friend from dance camp and Francisco from KNO. She cried later though bc she said her teacher fussed at her about not listening.

This afternoon Julia had her first dance class--tap and ballet. I could watch her from a window and she was adorable and loved it. Matt and the boys went to the pool.

And now I'm continuing to work on getting my class ready and lesson plans together for my job. I have orientation tomorrow, a parent orientation Thursday, a bring your parent to class day next week, and then kids start coming the 14th. I think it's going to be good, though it still feels like a lot to do to keep up with job and house and kids and volunteering. Going to be an interesting year!

Holding on to Summer!

It has been a good summer.  We have no travels to tell about, at least not as a family.  Most of our days haven't been filled with anything organized.  But it's been great and I'm not nearly ready for it to end!!

Ordinary days:  Most of our days we have been home doing a lot of reading, playing games, working for video games and then playing them, cooking, cleaning, playing outside, watching movies (especially some of my old favorites) and having lots and lots of play dates with friends old and new.  We have made many trips to the library and even more trips to the pool.  We've had friends and family over for dinner.  We've gone on bike rides and walks.

Special days:  We have gotten to go to friends' houses, sporting events, VBS, KNO game nights and had a few special visitors stay with us-- Matt's fellow soldier at Ft Lewis, Nate and Jeannie with her boys.

I have gotten dates with the kids, which I've never tried to make happen before.  I've also gotten "sleepovers" with each one on nights Matt is gone.  I have really loved the one-on-one time.

Gray went to a basketball camp and LOVED it.  He cannot get enough of shooting hoops.  Julia went to a princess dance camp and an art camp.  Joshua had an epic trip to Mimi and GrandGene's full of museums and Carowinds and lots of fun family time.  Gray is away right now getting his time in Rock Hill and loving it, though showing Mimi and GrandGene just how hard-headed he is!

Growing days:  Matt started his new job and is learning so much and working so hard.  Each of the kids has learned a little more about cooking.  Julia has always been interested in helping in the kitchen but Gray has been super enthusiastic and loved planning a meal from start to finish.  Joshua is usually reluctant to help but he enjoyed making pancakes Saturday with me just standing by to give advice while he did all the work.

Julia has been making progress with her reading lessons.  Joshua is learning more about patience and not getting everything you want as he waits for his leg to heal.  He has agreed to try swimming classes in the fall since basketball is probably not going to be an option for a few more years.

We've had some birds and the bees lessons with the kids (using the book "What's the Big Deal?"), which has gone really well b/c they are young enough to be curious, listen to us, and not roll their eyes in embarrassment!

We've been learning how to be more social and better conversationalists, as we are all the type to wait for people to speak to us.  I read a few books on the subject and have been sharing what I learned.  Julia did great the other day and reached out to an acquaintance at the pool after remembering what we talked about.  She continues to be the most social of the family.

I have taken up running...well, jogging really, which has definitely been a growing experience as I stink at it!  But I'm getting so much better and learning to enjoy getting out of the house alone for a little while.  I also started re-teaching myself to play the piano, which I really enjoy doing as well!

Future days:  There are just 2 1/2 weeks till school starts back and I'm not sure any of us are ready.  Well, maybe Julia.  She doesn't say too much about it but I think she's mostly looking forward to it.

Gray has loved being at home with few demands on him and we're wondering how it's going to go when school starts.  We had a phone consultation with a neurofeedback doctor in Chapel Hill that was very intriguing.  Her type of treatment is highly recommended by the Academy of Pediatrics, but highly expensive and not covered by insurance.  She says she'd look at an EEG of his brain each visit and figure out exactly where it isn't functioning well and be able to target that area.  It's supposed to last indefinitely, with maybe some maintenance visits here and there.  So we are weighing the cost as we try to figure out what's best for him.  Could be a busy fall with twice a week visits to the doctor.  Gray is also interested in playing flag football and then basketball, but we haven't decided yet.  It's a little crazy to thing of adding a bunch of activities when last year we had nothing extra!

Joshua will have swimming twice a week during September and then we can decide from there to continue or not.  A kind neighbor has been researching Perthes disease and helping us understand it a little better and it really seems like swimming will be very good for him.

Julia is going to do a little dance class with 3 of her friends and she can't wait.  She loves showing me her ballet moves at home.

Matt's schedule will become a little more manageable as he will finish up his orientation weeks where he sometimes has extra classes to take.  He's trying to figure out the best schedule to go with, since he can pick his own shifts.

And me?  Well I'm still supposed to be getting a job.  My best options haven't panned out yet and I've been reluctant to jump on finding something that I don't seem very suited for.  I think I just want to get through this big transition of not having any little ones at home anymore and starting this new school and these new activities.

And then there's the other big "if" for our family as we are still contemplating getting a dog.  We know a little more what type we need for Joshua's allergies, but they aren't the kind that you kind find just anywhere in a shelter.  Matt is very taken by the cute puppies, but most of "our" types are hundreds and hundreds of dollars and of course a lot of work, especially if I'm going to work!  So we wait.  I think one of my biggest life lessons of my adult life so far has been waiting.  The LORD is always at work and I must be patient.

In our last weeks of summer, we'll look forward to a visit from Amanda, get some tutoring done with KNO kids, have some more friends over, find out who our teachers are and get school supplies, celebrate our anniversary, and do all the other usual things.  It's going to fly and I'm going to try to enjoy each day!

The Big Guy

Well my motivation for blogging didn't last too long there, but I'm back to record some Joshua memories.  It's been quite a year for this boy--the Perthes diagnosis last fall (he's been on crutches since September!), moving to Nanny and Pa's and then to our new house, saying goodbye to the school he's been attending for 4 years, and now nearing his 10th birthday.  

Ten is really getting to me.  It just seems like his childhood is almost over and I know it's cliché, but it really seems like the blink of an eye!  I keep waiting for that sarcastic, sullen, annoyed tween phase to begin creeping in, but Joshua assures me that will never happen and though I know it's totally normal to go through it, I almost believe him.  He is just so sweet to me.  He barely ever says a rude word, he apologizes profusely when he disobeys, and he tells me he loves me all. the. time.  Even when I'm grumpy and don't deserve his kind words.  

 His sweetness extends to Julia, who loves to play with him, but fends off his attempts at affection.  It extends to Matt, though they relate to each other a little differently.  It extends to animals (stuffed or real) and little kids.



I only wish Gray got his share.  Sadly, the competition seems to always be there for these two, especially on Joshua's part.  I'm sure one day they will show their support for each other, but I so wish they wouldn't waste their years now fighting and trying to one up each other.

Besides playing with Gray and chasing Julia around, these days Joshua is very into sports--NC State and the Seahawks in particular.  He loves to watch sports, play sports video games, play sports outside, talk about sports.  His "go to" outfits is his all red NC State outfit, complete with tall stocks and his precious new tennis shoes that he keeps in a box and usually only brings out on Tuesdays.  His back up is all navy and lime green Seahawks attire.  The boy loves routines.

 He also loves any chance he can get to play with friends.  He is very good at making friends and being immediately at ease with playing with them, which is unusual given that he typically has to size up and warm up to things.  He never wants to be the center of attention, but usually has a good friend to have fun with wherever he goes--at his old school, in his new neighborhood, at KNO, at church, etc.  He loved bonding more with a boy from our small group during VBS this month.  And his VBS teacher loved him.  She kept telling me how good he was and yes, that is dependable Joshua when he is not with his siblings at least!

Joshua's other interests range from crocheting (short lived, though he recently mentioned wanting to pick it back up) to reading (he loves reading on his own, hearing Matt read Lord of the Rings, and even hearing me read Anne of Green Gables) to drawing to playing board games (current fav is Settlers of Catan) to swimming.  He's pretty naturally good at most anything he tries, like his Daddy.

He may be growing up, but some things never change.  He still loves his things.  He recently put his 50+ stuffed animals that stay on his bed into bags (still on his bed) for easy carrying in case of a fire.  He wanted to save his snowmen and snowballs in the freezer every time it snowed this winter.  He loves to take pictures of things to remember, like his lego creations--or tonight, his arm where he got blood taken, since I declined his request to save his dirty bandaid.

 Mr. Animal Lover has also continued to beg for a dog, especially once we found out there may be breeds he could tolerate in spite of his allergies.  He went through a phase of being committed to saving his money to buy one and even watched an infomercial on training a puppy for quite awhile.  We are still undecided about taking the plunge.

 What's next for our oldest child?  His latest xray showed he still has a long way to go with healing his leg, so we're trying to be more strict about his activities.  He's very relieved to be done with his crutches finally and that good news was enough to sustain him through the bad news of no basketball/team sports.  Today Matt took him to the doctor to start testing for food allergies in case that could be behind his autoimmune issues.  We won't find out for a week or so what the results are and may need to see an allergist to follow up.

He's looking forward to his new school, though a little sad to leave his Hillandale friends behind.  Three of his closest friends had birthday parties the last month of school so he had a lot of great times with them to finish off the year.  Thankfully, he has friends he'll know at the new school and we're still getting to know some of our neighbors his age too.  Think he will be just fine.

In the Middle

Life with Gray has been the usual lately.  Ups and downs--sometimes ups and downs in the same minute.  He can go from happy to sad or mad in the blink of an eye.  He continues to wow us with the things he thinks of.  And that's just the thoughts he tells us.  He's often sitting introspectively for a long time so who knows what else he may be have come up with that no one else would have thought.

He loves jokes.  He brought his little Army bear to me this morning and told me a joke he made up:  What did the bear with long arms says?  "I'm arm-y bear."  Well, I thought it was clever.

He loves to argue.  Never seen someone argue as much as he does.  A snapshot from last night at the baseball game:  He argued that the red marks on his shoulders in the areas his little tank top didn't cover were definitely not sunburn.  He argued that he wouldn't be cold at the baseball game with his little tank top, though it was going to get down to 60.  He argued that juniors come before freshmen in school.  He argued that if a fly ball is caught, no one else can score.  He argued that the runner was not out because he didn't see the tag.  We laughed as we watched State's coach chew out an umpire, thinking, "Maybe baseball really could be Gray's thing!"  He does end up in a blow up argument about nearly every sport-related game he plays.  Or maybe he'll be a lawyer.  We know one thing at least--debate team, here we come!

Gray is really into math lately.  He loves just talking about numbers.  He saw a package labeled 2 ft and he wanted to tell me it was 24 inches.  At the game he kept wanting to talk about how many minutes it had been going on or how many minutes till it would be a 3 hour game.  He likes to tell us exactly what time he woke up in the morning.  He loves keeping score for a board game.  And he is pretty good at calculating things in his head.

He continues to do lots of against the grain things.  He ate a clover on St Patrick's day ("It tastes like spinach.") and a dead bug as well ("Jordan told me to.  I wanted to because I thought it would taste good and it did!")  He often seems to enjoy getting a reaction from others by being different.

He makes us laugh.  When discussing dog breeds and identifying several crossbreeds, we came to a 'cockapoo'.  Gray says it's a cross between a cockroach and a poodle.  I once told Gray to take his hands out of his pants and he said, "Ok, my hands are out of my pants!"  He had stuck his arms though his shorts so his hands would stick out of the bottom.  One day Julia drew a picture of a shark and Pa put a "No Swimming" sign in the background.  Gray looked at it and matter-of-factly said, "The shark will die."

Gray is still obsessed with sports.  Loves playing them, especially basketball.  Loves watching them--he was into every minute of the 4 hour game last night.  Even enjoys watching golf on tv.  Loves reading about them.  And sharing all sorts of trivia with anyone who will listen.  Reminds me of a certain grandfather of his in that respect. :)

He's still struggling to pay attention at school and the psychiatrist says he is ADHD.  So far, the medicine we're trying doesn't seem to make a difference, but a friend of mine said it took while for her daughter.  We're ok if it doesn't work, but we want to give it a try.  I don't get much feedback from his teacher, but his speech teacher loves to talk to me about him.  He stopped me the other morning and said that they were making rockets the other day and Gray was sooo excited.  He said it was great to see him enthusiastic, but hard to keep him focused, which reminds him so much of his son.  Then he said of Gray, "He's wonderful.  He really is."  Really thankful for this encouraging voice in Gray's life.

We love our Gray.  No one like him.  I pray we'll be able to develop his unique abilities well and help him with the things that are challenging.  Looking forward to seeing him be all that God created him to be!

Happy Mother's Day to Mama

Well I'm not sure I can top the first Mother's Day gift I received this year.  Last week, Gray presented me with an early Mother's Day card.  I asked did he not want to wait till actual Mother's Day to give it to me, but he reminded me on the card it specifies that it is an early Mother's Day card.  So I read it and was treated with this special sentiment:

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Honeybee.
Honeybee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a soda.

Poetic, huh?  I think that sums up Gray's loving feelings for his Mommy pretty well.

It's also difficult to describe the appreciation I felt a few Fridays ago at Joshua's Econopolis where I quietly suggested he "buy" me a pair of earrings from a classmate with his fake money for Mother's Day.  He reluctantly agreed.  Then he heard the price tag:  $8.  He said never mind and headed to his desk.  He ended up getting the girl down to $5, at which point he picked out a pair, marched over and said, "Here," shoving them in my hand.  I gave them back and said he had to wait till Mother's Day.  We'll see if he has held on to them.

So how do I honor my mother in the example of my sons?  Well I saw on facebook that a woman had made a list of the ways she was like her mom and encouraged others to do the same.

So here is my list:

-We don't like crowds.
-We love flowers.
-Our happy place is a crafty project while watching a movie.
-Cooking isn't our favorite.
-We have a soft place for the kids that are overlooked or always in trouble.
-We are easily overwhelmed.
-We are sensitive.
-We highly value books.
-We don't like loud noises.
-We enjoy painting...when we are in the right mood.
-We are directionally challenged.
-We aren't big city people.
-We like a good bargain.
-We love the old, old movies.
-Being the center of attention is not our thing.
-We like a good board game.
-We are kind of home-bodies.
-Driving is not our forte.
-We enjoy bright colors.
-Craft stores are our favorites.
-We love children.
-We like things that match.
-We are a little scatter-brained.

What can I say?  I am my mother's daughter, and I'm good with that.  I love you, Mama!  Happy Mother's Day!!

Sweet and Spicy

That's still our Julia!

She loves playing with the boys but boy will she scream at them.  She makes up games that usually get out of control and end with her hitting them, yelling, running in her room and slamming the door, or all of the above!  She also gets very mad and me and Matt several times a day, usually for things like not hearing her when she was talking and asking her to repeat it.  Yeah.

But the sweet side?  Oh my goodness- that girl's heart!  She HATES for anyone to be upset.  This little lady will crank out a hand-drawn card in 2 seconds flat if anyone is mad, sad, fell off a bike, etc. She is just so sensitive and attuned to everyone's feelings.

And you hear it's good to talk about your feelings, right?  Well she's got that down.  And more.  Example goes something like this:  "Well the thing is that I like my friends but it's just that sometimes they all want to sit beside me and they say, 'I want to sit beside Julia!  I want to sit beside Julia!' and I want to spend time with all of my friends but I just can't sit beside all of them and sometimes I just want to sit beside Dhilan but all my friends want to sit beside me and I like them but I just don't like when they do that and they like me but it's just hard when they all want to sit beside me because the thing is..." and on and on.  You get the picture.

She can go deep too.  Yesterday in the car, some of her thoughts, which she freely shared in monologue when I told her I was losing my voice and would just listen, were these:

"I'm going to give you and Daddy a present, but it's not going to be like a card or a toy or a movie.  It's going to be loving you."

"So God gives us gifts, but they aren't like cards.  It's like the Holy Spirit."

Her favorite things:  My Little Pony (the only thing she will ever pick to watch on tv), her music (she loves to go in her room, put in a cd and rock out...or twirl like a ballerina), friends (she does not know I exist when she's with little girls), drawing, playing in her room, eating snacks, hearing stories of when they were little (and retelling them to anyone that will listen), playing with grandparents, her stuffed animals, wearing dresses, smelling her little string of a night-night, praying for our sponsored kids.

She is doing awesome with reading.  She also loves to play the spelling game, which means I tell her to spell a word and she does.  Or sometimes she tells herself to spell a word and then does.  She says all the time, "Well I just need to practice my letters and numbers."  It is a whole different world from the boys!

She is my shopping partner extraordinaire.  Sure, she gets tired and whiny when we're on our 4th store, but going to one or two places she is great.  She loves to help me pick out things while giving a running commentary in a grown-up sounding voice like, "Well, this might be nice!" and "Well, let's not get that this time.  How about you can get it the next time?"

A few months ago, the bedwetting alarm worked it's magic and we are a pull-up free house!  She was very good about it and so sweet when I'd get up with her.  I would be half awake and she would be giving me hugs and saying she loved me.

Other random quotes:

"I hope I NEVER forget not to touch a dead bat."

"I shouldn't have written 'Daddy' on Daddy's valentine because I might forget which Daddy it's for."

"Mommy!! Gray is saying something inappropriate!!"

"Mama, when can I take my eye drops out of my ear?" (meant the cotton balls holding in the ear drops)

"Look at us looking like chickmunks!" (using the photo booth program on my computer)

"No I don't mean any of that!  It's like the RAIN pedals!" (meant puddles)

"It is familiar that you can dribble a basketball and not a football." (she has her own meaning of the word familiar)

"I feel jealous because Dhilan wanted me to play with him earlier and I said no but now I wish I did.  Anyway he's a friend and I don't want to let a friend down."

"My heart is broken because I am sad to leave Mimi."

"If they are real, aliens probably don't live here in Hillsborough...probably like in Durham at other people's houses."