Pics- cath morning

 

Pre-op and cath so far

Yesterday we had Allie's pre-op. It was shorter than we thought but definitely some tough moments. She has had enough appointments now to be sufficiently afraid so there were tons of tears, which of course felt harder knowing what was coming this week rather than it being an isolated appointment. The staff was very nice and the Child Life specialist was very helpful. Drawing blood was the worst but hopefully all her sticks from here on out are while she's under anesthesia.

Now we are at the cath lab at Duke and she has just gone back for a couple hours of diagnostic procedures in which they run a tube up to her heart and check out everything to plan for tomorrow. There is a chance they find that they need to open some blood vessels via balloon today but aren't expecting that. There is a chance their surgery plan for tomorrow could change as well. So I'm pretty nervous waiting to hear how it went and where we go from here.

Allie did not like no food or drink this morning and regarded everyone with lots of suspicion here but made it through everything except taking some yuck medicine without losing it. The medicine didn't seem to be working at first because she perked up and started playing more. Then she started staring st her little electronic toy with her face pressed to it. And looking at me and giggling. And swaying from side to side in my lap. She was clearly feeling good!  So good that she did not protest when I gave her over to the nurse.  Didn't even look back as they went into the lab area. Whew. This is not for the faint of heart...no pun intended. Trying to take it one moment at a time.

Will try to update as I hear.

Easter Weekend!

We've enjoyed a beautiful weekend together celebrating Easter.  Was so nice to have Matt home and all 6 of us around.  Warning- Easter morning picture overload below...

snuggle bugs

drinking her fake margarita...fav pasttime

Dentist pic from a few weeks ago...she was not a fan.

Easter morning...cousin handmedown that Julia also wore on Easter at 1 yr.

Notice the pink and orange socks...style all her own.

Mixing plaids...another stylish one.

We couldn't dig up a red dress shirt, but he was willing to wear the blue one with the security of his red athletic shirt underneath.

Her favorite part of the egg hunt was opening and dumping.

Allie provided lots of entertainment for the cousins.

Earlier that day...Resurrection egg hunt

Had a lock malfunction at church and ended up doing brunch and service outside.  It was great!

Hanging in Hillsborough

This week has been a lot of Allie and me just hanging out, trying to enjoy the beautiful weather, appreciate this week of normal life before our upcoming hospital week, and staying out of Matt's hair so he could sleep since he is on 4 nights in a row.  We've found lots to do and Allie is lots of fun to be with.

Besides having China and adoption in common, these girlies both love bubbles, eggs, and snacks.

Monday Allie got to meet Molly, a fellow China girl, who is 3 and was adopted a month before her.  They interacted some, played near each other a lot, and seemed to have a good morning.  It was interesting to watch Allie having to share and see her mixed feelings on this situation.  :)

She wanted to get in there pretty badly!  Allie hasn't met a dog she doesn't like.

Tuesday we spent the morning at the Riverwalk/Gold Park.  She especially loved seeing several dogs out.  It was such a perfect day to be out.

She was not into taking pictures--had to make it a game, but then hard to get her still!

She loves her "bobo".  I mean, who doesn't?!

Wednesday we went to the grocery store and hung out in our yard, enjoying all the pretty flowers blooming right now.

Thursday we helped count laps at the school and walked a little ourselves.  Allie made it 1/16 of a mile, which is pretty good for her little legs.  Then she did her classic cutting me off and signing up.  She also enjoyed charming the kids and teachers with waves, "bye bye", and blowing kisses.  As long as she's safe in my arms, she is enjoying being extra friendly these days!  Then we ran more errands, including checking out Joshua's collage on display at the library, and walked down to Nanny and Pa's to drop off Raven for a play date.

Joshua changing diapers!

I have taken a ton of pictures this week, just trying to document well our last week before surgery and how happy and fun our sweet girl is.  I have started packing a little for the hospital and am having lots of up and down emotions about it all.  I think about Allie and what she's going to feel physically and emotionally, from the more minor parts like not getting to eat breakfast to the major parts like waking up after being cut open, poked, hooked up, etc.  Julia said the other day, "What if she thinks we are the ones that are making her hurt?" and I have those kinds of thoughts too-- she's going to wonder why in the world we're making her stay there and go through all this stuff!

Julia was born to be a little mother.  She loves taking care of Allie on her own...taking her out to the sandbox, putting her in the stroller and heading off down the sidewalk, staying up till all hours giggling, talking, and singing to her in their room.

I wonder what it's going to be like sleeping in the hospital and whether some days will be as "fun" as our China flight home.  We've only had a child have outpatient surgery and I really don't even remember it that much, so this is new territory and something I would have said is too hard for me to do.  I think that some things in life are too hard.  I know I've read about others' lives that are immensely too hard.   But that is the way this life is.  I think the things that feel too overwhelming are our opportunity to cling to God in prayer and lean on our friends and family for support.  So thankful for all of you and your kindness to our family!

I really dislike the anticipation of big, sad, or scary events.  It's always the worst part to me.  When Matt would leave during our army days, I was always okay once we got past the big goodbye.  So I'm trying to focus on whatever is going on each day and stop thinking about what is to come.  Trying to focus on Easter and all that Jesus has done.  Trying to give thanks that Allie has us and we have her.  Trying to keep things in perspective--there are many worse things and most likely all will be just fine.

Truly if we had known Allie would have to have this surgery, we probably would have said it was too much and thought she wasn't the child for us.  I'm so glad we didn't know.  She is so perfect for us and I wouldn't do anything differently!

Two Months Ago

Hard to believe just two months ago we were in Beijing meeting Allie for the first time.  It's really hard to imagine our family without her now, but that day, she was so afraid of us that it scared me a little bit.  I was not quite sure how it would all play out.  Looking back at those pictures and videos from that day is hard to describe.  Just weird to process the life she had before that we weren't a part of.  She continues to be a little ray of sunshine in our house and it amazes me how enjoyable it's been adding her to our lives.  I thought going back to toddlerhood would be quite a challenge.

She's picking up more and more words and signs and it's funny- she goes through phases of which words she wants to use.  "Mommy?" is the thing now.  She is done with calling everyone by name constantly.  She doesn't tell me when she needs the potty anymore.  She doesn't constantly sign 'eat..more...please' now.  She gets a new word or sign and she practices it a lot for a short time, then moves on.  "Doggy" with the sign was a big one yesterday and this morning after our church prayed for her surgery and I said "Thank you", she repeated thank you with the sign a bunch of times as we walked back to the nursery.

Allie loves to go outside and to help me with anything.  She is different than our other kids with some of her behaviors.  She loves loves to eat, yet she will sit in her chair and wait for me to make the food without really complaining...just signing "eat" here and there.  She doesn't get super cranky if her schedule is off.  She survived a late night at KNO followed by an afternoon Easter egg hunt during naptime the next day and did not give us a bit of protest.  If I tell her not to do something, she just stares with this serious expression, then maybe scratches the thing she was told no about or scratches herself.  She scratches all over when she is nervous sometimes.  She laughs and smiles at anything.  She loves playing with her siblings, especially if I make myself scarce.  She will do things for a laugh--like fall down on purpose or make faces.  She loves imitation and repetition.  She cheers if you flush the toilet.  She asks to blow her nose and wash her hands upon every entry to the bathroom.  She wants to brush her teeth all day long.  Putting on lotion is a favorite activity.  She likes to pretend anything is a phone.  She loves little kid songs with motions.  Her blanket is her favorite.  She is never alone by choice.  She's starting to wave and say hi or bye bye to people, but she does not want people to hold her- especially to take her from my arms.  She loves playing with other kids her size.  She does not care about eating sweets or watching tv yet...though the tv part we may have to change at the hospital.  I absolutely love being her mommy and I'm so glad she warmed up to us after our rocky first meeting!

Pics/videos from this morning:

Exhibit A of why the kids will be on a bit of a break from holding Allie after her surgery..I think 'no lifting under the arms' doesn't quite cover all that she experiences in their care! :

Gray and Allie

This afternoon...
Gray:  Mommy, you know what my favorite thing in the world is?....Allie.

These two are getting lots of time this week and Gray loves to document everything with movies and pictures, so here's a glimpse of what it's like to be adored by your brother:

Gray's birthday and our trip to SC

 Yes this is what love looks like in Gray's world :) 

Gray's mile run

Gray's part of his lighthouse project...this was his vision for it's last use before the recycle bin.  She is inside the tube.

No lacrosse practice this week because of weather, but Gray's got a backup coach here at home.

She's kind of a task master.

Where's Google Translate when you need it?

Sooo much toddler babble these days!  We are soaking up every bit of it.  She is so fun to have around!