Bittersweet

It has been a bittersweet last week or so.  We found out shortly after I wrote my last post that my cousin Costner passed away while recovering from surgery in the hospital.  He was just 20 and no one expected this to happen just yet.  We gathered the next day at my grandmother's house to see his mother, my aunt Cheryl.  Boy did it feel way too soon to be together with our SC extended family, in my grandmother's house, mourning another passing.  Weren't we just tearfully hugging all of these relatives over the loss of my grandmother?  What a year for our family.  

We returned home that day and carried on with our "normal" lives, while Cheryl lived a far from normal week in which her other children, my dear cousins, came in from South Korea and London to grieve with their mother and plan Costner's memorial service.  I took the kids to the museum and we had a nice July 4th with friends.  

So many pictures we have taken over the years on this dinosaur.  One day I will put them all together.

Digging up shark teeth.  She was a little dangerous wielding this shovel.

Matt told the kids to learn something new and Julia dutifully recorded lots of insect facts in her notebook.

Matt had to go to work after dinner, sadly, but while did fireworks with more of our neighbor friends, he got to step outside the hospital and watch the big show at UNC.  Allie loved and was afraid of the fireworks.  She buried her head on my chest and shouted "Close it!!" (meaning to cover her exposed ear) when anyone made a move to light another. 

Someone was a little nervous with the sparklers at first.  :)

Love this pic of Gray and his friend Will, who moved to the neighborhood recently, huddled together to watch the show.

The rest of our week was more friend time, pool time, and packing, as Gray was due at camp in Asheville on Sunday.  

Saturday, we said our goodbyes to the kids and Raven and Matt, Gray, and I headed out to rejoin my family, who were gathering in Asheville for Costner's service.  Oh it was so sad to remember Costner through the years and know his time here is done.  I was a teenager when he was born, so there are a lot of memories of him as an adorable baby, his funny antics as he grew up, his struggles and victories with his health, his close-knit family who gave so much of themselves to care for him, his incredible laugh (especially when my grandmother was around) and the way he'd look into the eyes of those that he loved.  It was precious to hear stories about him.  It was meaningful to hear the pastor at his service affirm that his life helped us learn to love and be better at relationships, as those who are different from us or weak tend to do.  It was heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time to hear his big sister stand before the church and tell about the Costner she knew and how fiery and amazing he was.  I haven't had a lot of loss in my life, but this year I'm learning how bitter and how sweet it is to spend time together reflecting on all the stories of your loved one and your relationship with that person, while mixing in the sadness that this chapter is closing.  I'm sure the closer you are to the person, the more bitter it is...or maybe both the good and the bad feelings are just more intense.  

Getting to be with my "international" cousins Clarke and Constance was so good.  We rarely see each other for more than a few hours of a visit maybe once a year.  There were lots of old stories told, lots and lots of laughing...just the way it always is when my family gets together.  

Jeannie had the idea to give Cheryl a rose bush and for us all to make memorial stones to go with it.  My family really got into it and I loved how each one reflected their personality and what they wanted to convey to Cheryl about Costner.  Julia's little heart with wings was such a beautiful idea.  Joshua's patchwork rock was carefully and creatively done.  Gray's glow in the dark rock was off the wall and cool like him.  Allie's was simple and sweet and "helped" by Julia.  They did not have as much time with Costner (especially time that they can remember) as I did, but all the same, knowing him affected them and I think will always help them to be more compassionate and accepting of those with special needs.

   We spent Saturday night with my sister and soaked up a few extra hours of talking and playing before we dropped Gray off at camp.  Gray's counselor seems great-- a former camper there for many years-- and Gray was nervous when we left, but hanging in there just fine.  I know he relaxed much more when his buddy Eli arrived. 

The girls and Joshua had a great time with Nanny and Pa.

Cabin life.

 Matt and I spend the rest of the day visiting with my mom, Cheryl, and Constance and -you guessed it- telling more family stories and laughing.  Oh I love my family.  What a blessing to get more time with Constance than I've had in many years.  Monday they all headed to take Constance to the airport and we said more tearful goodbyes.  There is not much I dislike more than goodbyes.  

Matt and I had planned months ago to stay in Asheville a few days, thanks to Cheryl's invitation for us to have an "anniversary" getaway, so we spent our day exploring Asheville.  We did some hiking, walked downtown a little, had some good food, and headed over to New Belgium Brewing for a free guided tour.  I heard it would be fun and it did not disappoint. Now I've never really liked the taste of beer and can't comfortably drink it anymore anyway b/c of the gluten aspect, but it was still a great tour.  Our guide was extremely good at his job-- he made us laugh often and was great at conveying the scientific process and the heart of their company.  They have some amazing ethics with their commitment to the environment, their employees, and the community.  I was very impressed.  Matt loved the tour and that had nothing to do with all the free beer they gave out.  Every 20 minutes or so, we'd stop at a bar somewhere in the building and all would get a glass or two of beer.  As previously mentioned, I do not care for beer, but never fear-- Matt loves it enough for the both of us and was able to consume my share of the free drinks as well as his.  :)  Fun times.  

We headed home to Cheryl's and walked to a great restaurant for dinner.  It's been so nice to be out of the usual routine.  I even took 2 mornings off work, which has felt great.  I enjoy the job and it's my choice to work as much as I do, but still--staying on top of teaching 7 days a week is a lot.  So nice to go to bed not having to make sure I'm all ready for the morning and to wake up and not immediately launch into work.  Thankful for this trip and time with Matt, thankful for my family and for the chance to remember Costner with them, and looking forward to being back with the kids again.

First Month of Summer!

We're settling into summer mode around here.  Each week has been a little different.  I went all crazy cleaning lady at first and we decluttered for days.        

 We had a family trip to Asheville for lacrosse and got to stay with Cheryl and see my parents and Rick too.

I have worked a ton and done a lot of planning for the next school year.  We are making progress on our summer goals... even Julia and I are getting better at our splits!

 We went through an "every day at the pool" stint for a bit. 

 We welcomed our dear friends the Bakers into town and hosted a welcome party for them.

 This week marked the first of the summer camps, with Joshua doing basketball and Julia painting.  We've had lots of friend time- playdates and sleepovers for all the big kids this week!

And this weekend, the boys are living it up in Virginia Beach for their last tournament. 

We have had our moments of bickering.  Actually more than moments.  Lots of opportunities for counseling and learning to communicate!  But overall, we are loving summer.

Coming up next month...dum, dum, dum.  It's the moment we've been talking about every hour for weeks...(or at least one of us has been talking about it):  Allie's 3rd birthday.  She is so excited about ice cream, cake, and being old enough to have two "big girl vitamins".  And then she adds in a bunch of other expectations for her birthday.  Basically if I say we aren't doing it right now, she say, "I do that on my birthday."  From eating cookies to sitting in the back seat of the car, she has BIG plans for her day.  Let's hope it doesn't disappoint!

She had her first haircut today.  I trimmed just a few tiny hairs that have always been longer than the rest.  She was so proud to sit on the edge of the bathtub like the brother do when I cut their hair.

In July we'll also be doing Allie's baptism and a big family beach trip, plus Gray has his weeklong camp in Asheville and the others have day camp as well.  I know it's going to fly!

Lacrosse, School Activities, REPEAT

That's how our last weeks went.  The boys are now in a travel league, which had a tournament at UNC the weekend before school got out plus practices. and a "play league", which just gathers to play a game and met twice the week school got out.  We were constantly packing up smelling boys and backpacks of stuff to occupy the girls that week.

During the day, there were all sorts of special events to attend and we ended up at one school or another more often than home during the day. Joshua's school does an end of year "Olympics" of all sorts of games (relays, frisbee, escape room, improv contest, American Idol, etc.).  It was complete with an opening ceremonies to rival the real deal--parade of nations (or teams with names such as "Nichol's Pickles" and "That Blue Team"), national anthem, and torch lighting.  Allie and I spent quite a bit of time hanging with Joshua's team and taking it all in.  He just really wanted me to be there...and who can say no to your nearly teenage son wanting to be with you?!

In the art room

Torch lighting

American Idol

Kona Ice truck with Joshua

Cleaning up after lunch.  Allie sat and ate with Joshua and about 8 other boys.  

Somewhere in there, I managed to tackle a project I'd been thinking of doing but dreading for years...painting our dark brown shelves, chair, and ottoman white.  Turned out to be a one afternoon/evening plus next morning project and I love the results!  The kids immediately told me they looked better brown and concurred that I had missed some spots... they clearly don't understand the distressed look.

Thursday was "Gray day".  He had his very official 5th grade graduation ceremony, which I still feel a bit cynical about because really?  He's 10.  It's elementary school.  But whatever.  At least it's not preschool graduation.  That really cracks me up.  After the ceremony they have a big party in the gym.  This year had a much different feel than last year.  I think each group of kids are just different.  These kids did a ton of beach ball playing (more like see who you can hit with the beach balls), which Gray did not tire of, and not a lot of dancing like Joshua's group.  Robyn and I managed to get the boys into the photo booth.  The last one cracks me up because Peter was yelling at Gray, "We're not doing any props!!!!!" while Gray stubbornly pulled on the llama.  So typical.  It was a fun party and a good end to the year.

The last day of school, Matt and I split forces and he attended the elementary school awards ceremonies while Allie and I supported Joshua at his awards ceremony.  By this point, Allie had been drug around to so many events, including the loooong graduation the day before in which she gave me flashbacks to our plane ride home from China, so I pulled out all the stops and let her cover herself and me with tinted sparkly lip gloss she found in my purse.  It kept her busy and quiet, so whatever!

We closed down the school year with trips to the pool and movie nights this weekend.  Sunday we also made some summer goals, which we wrote out and posted.  (I won't share them all, but Julia and I are trying to do a split by the end of summer.  Allie stretches with us and it's hilarious.  We have a LONG way to go.)  We got right to work on our goals Sunday and I was feeling good about our first real day of summer vacation today...until I got finished with work about 8:45 this morning and was thrown a reality check in the form of constantly bickering/yelling children.  I was ready to throw in the towel on summer vacation by 9:30.  Thankfully, some good chore therapy relaxed everyone and the two bickering-est kids are even planning a puppet show together.  My big check off of the day-- Allie's 2 year old photo shoot!  I started this for my mom when Joshua was 2.  I had seen professional black and white pics of the oldest grandchild Abby at 2 and thought I'd try my hand at similar poses.  Now my mom has pics of everyone but Allie so had to get hers done too.  Gosh she's cute.  Here are a few....

Anyway, I'm feeling much better now and I think we're going to make it though summer after all.  Happy Summer!

Feeling Like Summer

We just finished up a fun long weekend with the Moores and we are definitely seeing that light at the end of the school year tunnel!  We went to the pool a few times in spite of the rain, got in a hike at Occoneechee Mountain, ate ice cream downtown at Whitt's, played some cards, and did a lot of trampoline jumping.  We are ready to get these last two weeks of school down and go into summer mode!

 The last few weeks flew by...

 Our first venture into politics, led by Julia, as we manned a polling place to support her friend's mom running for school board.  Julia gave her typical range of emotions from urgent desire to know if each person that passed would actually vote for Sarah Smylie to desperate bemoaning of our lack of seating during this one hour stent.

Matt, Allie, and I spent the morning at the elementary school helping with field day.  Allie was pretty uncomfortable the first hour or so, which surprised me.  I think there was just too much activity and too many people coming in and out of our station.  But she settled in and we made it through.  Another major end of year milestone to signal that summer is coming!

 The boys had a HOT last day of lacrosse, in which they played 4 games in a row and wore themselves out.  The sisters had a great time gathering honeysuckle and playing together and- as Julia  dramatically put it- "getting through 4 whole lacrosse games".  Nevermind the hot, sweating, exhausted brothers actually playing out in the sun.  Gray took it all in stride and actually chose to stay in the sun and toss the lacrosse ball between games.  Joshua was kind of beat from the beginning, but did have some shining moments where he showed he does have the moves when he chooses to show them.

 Pool, pool, and more pool.  We have now gone quite a few times over the last couple of weeks and Allie has made it into the water in short bursts.  She still prefers snacking and lounging.

 She and I had our last week of preschool and I must say she is looking so much more grown up these days.  She had a wonderful year of school and I think it's been a great way to still give her that environment she was used to with lots of kids her age, but also keep her close to me and our days not too full.

 She loved water day, especially the shaving cream mat.  Anything that's a sensory experience and/or crafty is always right up her alley.  (Oops, no pun intended!)

Last day with my wonderful assistant Mary.  We had a great time getting to know each other over the last several months and she was an excellent assistant.  But all good things must come to an end and for preschool assistant positions, they come to an end rather quickly in my experience!  She's moving on to a full time job and new career path, so I'll be looking for another teacher for fall.

And here are more pics from our Memorial Day weekend....  Kids have more testing this week, plus a lot of extra fun stuff at school next week- competitions, parties, ceremonies, etc.  Then just like that, summer will be here!